For many people, having kids and raising a family is the ultimate dream. While babies are wonderful, they require a lot of work, commitment, and preparation. So, deciding to have them isn’t something you should do out of the blue. It requires careful consideration and discussion with your partner. You want to ensure that you’re both on the same page regarding your preparedness, expectations, and understanding of the challenges involved. Consider discussing the following things with your partner before having kids.
1. How having kids will affect you as a couple
Children come with changes, massive changes. In some cases, a baby can put a career or future dreams and ambitions on hold and can affect your relations as a couple. Speak to your partner about your expectations once a child arrives, covering everything from the change dynamics to your shared responsibilities as parents. Your discussions should also cover important areas like division of labour and financial responsibilities. The subject of the division of labour will involve things like diaper changes, caring for the child during the day, and staying up at night.
2. The best way to have a child
Having open discussions with your partner about how you both prefer to have a child will ensure that you’re on the same regarding family planning decisions. Such a discussion allows you to explore options like adoption, surrogacy, or biological conception, depending on your unique needs or challenges as a couple. Of course, this might not be a big deal if both of you are capable of ‘normal’ conception. But if you’re not, there are endless alternatives available, and each requires careful consideration. As already mentioned, adoption and surrogacy are two options. But beyond these, IVF and egg donation are also available. You can also consider embryo adoption if you’re not suitable for any of the other options mentioned earlier.
3. How you will finance your child’s care
Childcare or raising a child is getting costlier by the day. Recent studies estimated the average cost of raising one child from birth to age 18 to be £223,256. That includes childcare and housing costs. You can multiply this estimated number by how many children you want to raise together. That should give you an idea of the level the financial responsibility involved. So, find out from your discussion if you’re both ready for the challenge. Also, decide on who will handle what aspect of your child’s finances, whether it’s health expenses, college education funding, or everyday feeding and clothing costs.
4. The best way to parent
Parenting styles vary from person to person. Opinions on what decisions parents should take in different situations will never be the same. So, it’s best to decide as a couple what parenting style will deliver the best outcomes for your child. Think of your parents and how they raised you. Would you prefer to raise your kids in a similar manner? Are there some things you’ll want to change? Are there other parents you admire and would prefer to emulate? Such considerations can help you decide on the right parenting style for your child.
